shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

phobias:

my interests range from cute puppy’s to hard core sex

lychgate:

harrypotterfreak333:

When you hear your parents talking about you with other people in a different room…

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AND THEN THEY START LAUGHING

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slayerage:

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

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  • child I am babysitting: How do you get grownup teeth?
  • me: You lose your baby teeth
  • child I am babysitting: they fall out!?
  • me: they fall out
  • child I am babysitting: do you still have your baby eyes?
  • me: 
  • child I am babysitting: or did they fall out
  • me: 
  • me: 
  • me: you keep the same eyes all your life
  • child I am babysitting: *touches eyes* whoa

okay:

well if this doesn’t prove it idk what does 

I became chief because I thought it would make [Mom] happy. But it didn’t. You need to make decisions based on what you want.